A dating event for everyone who does not identify with heteronormative ways of dating!
A safer space for people who identify as queer, whatever that means to you!
Online Dating can be a drag, endless swiping, short-lived excitement and the sense of being just an object instead of a real human.
Softer Dating is the alternative to online dating where you’ll get to slow down, take a breath and meet others in a cute and embodied way
Slow
Playful
Queer
Embodied
And way more human.
Together, we’ll drop the script and make space for real, present-moment encounters. The night blends gentle structure (think one-on-one mini dates) with open time for deeper, spontaneous connection. Romance, friendship, something in-between: all are welcome.
Queer-centered, non-heteronormative
For the second time we offer a safer space for all you queerdos out there. A safer space for you to come and show up as you are.
Here's what's actually different tonight: not the exercises, but the room we share.
Everyone here has “opted in”, and already knows what kind of space this is. You don't have to gauge, guess, or come out to a stranger before you can relax into it.
The activities and exercises aren’t queer-specific. It's the same thing we'd offer anyone.
We want to offer you a dating event you can join, without the usual background tax: no need to read the room for safety, no deciding how much of yourself to edit, no bracing.
Underneath all our different ways of loving and identifying, most of us are after the same thing: to be met, without having to explain ourselves first. Tonight, that part's already handled.
WHAT HAPPENS AT SOFTER DATING?
Dating can oftentimes feel very “heady” and intellectual. We think about what to say, try to be funny etc. but by doing that we miss out on a bunch of other juicy and good stuff!
Together we will explore new ways of being in connection beyond the regular small-talk.
The thing is, our bodies are incredibly good at understanding what they like and dislike. While the mind is busy making up stories, the body, already senses what is happening in this moment.
In this event you are invited to allow your body to lead your experience.
Words and thoughts get to take a little break tonight.
You won’t have to think about what to say next, what to share in order to fill the silence. You get full permission to be in the body, and we will guide you into that space.
THE EVENING
Part 1: Landing
We will spend some time arriving and landing together. Transitioning from the rushed pace of everyday life, to presence and slowness.
Part 2: Moments of connection
You’ll meet a range of people through short, guided one-on-one experiences. By removing the pressure of choosing, we create space to simply be present and curious.
Consent is explicit throughout. All exercises are invitations, you can always choose to do less or observe.
Part 3: Guided exploration with choice
As the group has landed and found comfort together, you now choose who you partner with. We’ll explore connection through:
• Moving your body (dance, movement)
• Mindful touch (soft, consensual)
• Curious conversations
• Observation & rest (take a break anytime)
Touch and closeness may arise, if desired. The atmosphere is intimate but not se*ual. No nudity, no pressure.
WHAT YOU'LL TAKE WITH YOU
Beyond the evening itself, many people leave with:
New ways of connecting - discovering forms of interaction that go beyond talking
Greater body awareness - more in touch with your own body, your yes and no
Self-knowledge - understanding yourself more deeply through experience rather than analysis
Confidence - both in social spaces and in honoring your own boundaries
A shifted perspective - on how you approach people and relationships going forward
You'll learn to take responsibility for your own experience, developing the skill and ability to shape what happens rather than waiting for the other person to create it. This often translates into presence, a quality that serves you far beyond dating.
WHO IS THIS FOR?
This event is geared towards people who identify as queer and for whom the heteronormative way of dating does not work. Beyond that it is simply a space for people looking for meaningful connections. Any gender expression, style of relating, and sexual preference welcome.
CAN I JOIN AS A BEGINNER?
Anyone who wants to connect with others is welcome to join, no experience needed!
DO I NEED A PARTNER?
No, you can obviously come by yourself. But you are very welcome to come with a friend or even with a group of friends if you like!
DRESSCODE
Wear something comfortable that you can move around freely in. We encourage you to dress up and wear something that fits the dating vibe, something that makes you feel good and shows that you thought about what to wear. Please no street wear.
WHAT TO BRING
Bring a water bottle, you won’t need much else.
TIMES
Doors open at 18:30 and the event ends at 22:00
Doors close at 19:00, you cannot arrive after this time
TICKETS
280 kr for members
350 kr for non-members
We offer a 20% discount to students and low income. Discounts cannot be used on top of other discounts. Please reach out to info@houseofplay.dk
Tickets are non-refundable.Be sure to read our cancellation policy and no-show fee here
CODE OF CONDUCT
Before showing up to any of our activities, please make sure to read and follow the House of Play Code of Conduct
🌶️of 4
Read more about our chili system here
QUESTIONS
What if I don’t like an exercise?
You can observe instead. We encourage people to take care of their boundaries, it happens and we think it’s wonderful.
What if I feel awkward?
Awkwardness and shyness are welcome. You don’t need to pretend. Most people relax naturally after some time.
What about the gender ratio?
We can’t guarantee your preference will be there, but so far we’ve had a wide, colorful distribution of genders!
What if I’m paired with someone I don’t find attractive?
Softer Dating is about connection, not just romance. Can you bring respect and curiosity, even if there’s no spark?
ABOUT THE FACILITATORS
Hi! I’m Philipp (call me Pyt). I’ve been creating intimate events and workshops for years because I love creating spaces where people can unfold and enjoy themselves. I move between the worlds of coaching and facilitating with a strong focus on embodiment, self-awareness, boundaries and communication.
Check out my work at www.softkink.dk & www.softerdating.dk
How queer am I?! Well, I have to say when I’m around non-queer people I feel pretty damn queer, when I am around very queer people I feel pretty straight, so in earnest, I don’t really know where I land on this spectrum. I hope that my offering creates a space for people who otherwise struggle to find a space for themselves.